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I contend that tearing things down is exactly as easy as it looks.  Its the putting back together thats painful...

Doggie Pet Peeves.....

1. Blaming your farts on me...
not funny.. not funny at all !!!

2. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip",                                                                                                   
then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out...
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose...
Stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons...
Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Yelling at me for barking...
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry,
but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters? Hello ???...
Haven't you noticed the fur?

Poem for a New Puppy Owners

Don't smell crotches, don't eat plants,
Don't steal food or underpants.
Don't eat my socks; don't grab my
hair,,
Don't rip the stuffing from that chair!!!
Don't eat those peas, don't touch that
brush,
Don't chew my shoes, what IS this
mush!?!
Eat your cookies, drink your drink,
Outta the toilet!  Outta the sink!
Away from the liter box, It's for the cat!
Must you kiss me after that?
Raising a puppy is not for the lazy,
Those rugrats are funny, but also
quite crazy.
Don't despair through the toil and the
strife.
"Cause after three years you'll get back
your life!
So lets go for walks, so you can do
your "thing"
And maybe I'll get back my diamond
ring!  

-Author Unknown

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